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What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Last Updated: 21.06.2025 00:20

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What! how could you do that?

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why do atheists always argue about the existence of suffering in the world as meaning God doesn't exist when it doesn't prove anything?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why does my dog keep licking at her privates now? She is 7 years old and has barely started licking there. The vet said she’s fine but she keeps doing that.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!